Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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