walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
