Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize