Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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