She's JV to your varsity
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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