Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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