Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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