He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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