He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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