My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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