I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
