**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
