Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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