Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
