If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
