i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize