TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
