I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
