dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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