Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
