there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
