I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize