you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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