Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
