: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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