I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
