I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
