I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
