We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
