I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You made out with two different species that night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
