first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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