I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
