Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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