I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
