i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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