His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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