She's JV to your varsity
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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