yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
