This girl is more easily done than said...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Randomize
