u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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