dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
