why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
