Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
