What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
