Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
