It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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