you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
