Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
