Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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