keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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