the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
