you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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