Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
