Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
