just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
