He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
