real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
