I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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