I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
